Promises and Compromises

We had a good weekend full of sunshine, highly unusual in our Pacific NW spring climate. We spent Saturday starting our son's Eagle project. His project is sprucing up a much loved, very old (started in the 1800's) cemetery. It is the cemetery where his Uncle is buried so it seemed like a good fit. This was a short fact finding day, the big project comes in two weeks. We will be pulling ivy, cleaning grave sites, and a general cleaning of the grounds. I was touched by the sentiments expressed on some of the headstones to someone's loved one. It brought to mind my own wedding vows. I know it is wonderful to write your own vows, and we did some of that, but we opted for the traditional ones as well. I once heard someone say (a man) that he appreciates those traditional vows because when he goes to a wedding with his wife, it reminds him of his vows to her and he often repeats them alongside the bride and groom quietly to reaffirm his love and devotion. My DH and I got married late in life...guess it took us awhile to find each other. I won't go into the details of our first marriages, they just didn't work out for myriad reasons. That didn't make either of us more skittish of a second go round; in fact we were so eager, we could hardly wait. You often hear the term 'soul mate' thrown around, but there is no doubt that we are bound together by an unbreakable force. His love and devotion to me and our family is something you rarely see. I love him so fiercely that it makes my heart ache. In any case, as I was saying, we got married late in life, so as a fun and lovely way to celebrate our togetherness, we have a wedding every 5 years. We find some way to reaffirm our vows in different ways. On the 5th, it was Las Vegas, pure cheese and fun, the 10th in front of friends and family, and the 15th was pure down home red neck wedding celebration with everyone dressed for the part. Including a good friend, a minister dressed in overalls and carrying shotgun shells. Well, we are coming up on our 18th in a week or so. I said to my DH, do you want to get married again this time instead of waiting until our 20th? I am thinking the worst, that we won't be together for our 20th, but he gently said, "No, I want something to look forward to." and of course I felt ashamed that I am worried, but in my defense, I just really wanted to celebrate life, celebrate him, celebrate us.

I take you , to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. 

 I take these vows to heart. We have been through so much, loss of family and friends, the accidents and medical emergencies that have befallen us or the children, yet, here we are, standing with each other, holding each other up when the other is too weak to stand. "Tying the knot" sounds constricting and painful, yet it is not a thick hemp scratchy rope, but a silken ribbon that joins our hearts together. It is like a beautiful bow on a gift that finishes off the package inside. It is a joy to wake up every day to this man that holds my heart. Happy almost anniversary...For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from that sweet day 18 years ago forward for many more years . He did promise me we would dance together at our 50th; I am holding him to that. The compromises have been few, now we have to make a few more as we struggle to make this next phase work. I told him he is still the head of this household, that hasn't changed, I am here to help and support, but he is the CEO, the CFO, the IDK/IDC (jokingly the "I don't know, and I don't care") I am his equal partner, but happily take the role of aide-de-camp. I can't let him forget that he is the most important part of our world. We have this saying that he is the glue that holds the family together, and I am the glue gun that pushes it all along.

Love binds us, love heals us, love holds us together when everything is falling apart. 

This is another week of appointments and hopefully not DISappointments. We look forward to the day when he can see clearly (literally and figuratively) once again so we can start to rebuild what was lost.