And so the journey begins....

On April 6th, I sat to breakfast with my dear husband. We had planned on eating quickly and heading out to an appointment that morning. I looked at him as he sat down and I realized his right eye looked odd. It looked to me as if he had a glass eye...like he wasn't seeing me. I immediately told him that I didn't like the looks of it and started doing the standard questions: Smile for me! What is today? Do you feel numb anywhere? Do you have a headache? Well as it turns out, he smiled fine, he wasn't slurring words, but he could not clearly visualize on the right eye's peripheral vision...and he had a severe headache. I demanded we go to the hospital. He, guy like, said he was fine and we needed to keep our appt. I was not happy. We drove to our appt (I drove...he thought he shouldn't, this should have been a major flag that all was not well, he loves driving) When we got to our appt, he seemed fine, but during appt he started asking a certain question time after time within minutes of each other. I started to panic. I caught the other person's eye and I could tell she sensed something was wrong. She left the room for something and I made a call to his eye doctor and they said they could fit him in. He spoke with the eye doc to describe the issues; meanwhile, I feel like I am going to be sick. I suddenly felt we had to go NOW. Our appt wasn't for an hour, so DH decided we would make a trip to Costco(!) on the way home. I felt sicker and sicker. We stopped to pick up some items and dropped them off at home on way to eye doc. I was rushing and rushing thinking we have GOT to hurry, dropping and breaking the eggs, dropping and breaking the orange juice, trying not to cry, knowing knowing knowing something was wrong. We got to the eye doc, and within 30 minutes of tests/phone calls to confer, they said Go. To. The E R. NOW. I ran to get the car, we are less than 5 miles from the hospital (coincidentally where DH works) and I realize time is of the essence. As I am driving he says "you know, I've driven this route nearly every day for 40 years". I am screaming at no one "Yeah when did they make this road 20 miles longer????" I dropped him off at ER (they had called ahead) so I could park, called someone close and just said one word "pray!": I think DH has had a stroke. He was seen in triage fairly quickly, but then the waiting began. They were so busy! I didn't like the fact that everyone in the waiting room had an armband on...they were waiting too. Finally, we got back and the hurry up and wait really began. This doc, that doc, nurses, vitals, ophthalmologists, ct scan. The scan came back clear! Whew, I am totally over reacting. Then the eye exam. It was good. Eyes healthy. This is a very bad thing in this context. My husband cannot see on the right side vision of his left eye and worse, the entire right side vision of his right eye is gone. This can only mean one thing. The MRI is now ordered. It shows he has had a stroke in the left occipital lobe, and as we all know from high school, a stroke on one side affects the opposite side. I am sick sick sick. I remember putting my fist in my mouth not to scream. I have many dear friends and family members who have serious illness and I think the one thing in common is this: You hear the bad words: Cancer. Heart Attack. Stroke. and you literally hear nothing after that.  My first thought after wanting to scream was : "We went shopping at Costco while my husband was having a stroke." (Later on, the docs told us that nothing would have been done differently even if we had arrived earlier...I felt slightly less guilty) The next thing another CT scan, with dye to see why he had a stroke. We had more info shoved into our faces: Occluded carotid artery, some disease in another artery. This is a healthy active man who eats well, low sodium. no high blood pressure issues...although not too consistent with exercise. But OK, otherwise good. He has had cholesterol issues (genetic) and unable to take the medication that helped with that due to side effects, but yet, over all, we thought he was doing pretty well. Uh yeah, about that... He is put into the hospital, perhaps the first time in 25 years and he is scared. I start making phone calls as he rests. I quietly break down with close friends and family members so he won't hear me. I have never been one of those people that says "why us?" but a person who says "OK, what do we need to do NOW? How can we fix this?" I love this man so much, he is my absolute LIFE. His children would be lost w/o him, his grandchildren adore him. He is my first, my last, my everything. He is hurting and I can't fix it.

Note: The national stroke association has the Act FAST response to a stroke:
*F*ace: Ask the person to smile, does one side droop?
*A*rms: Ask them to raise both arms, does one side drift downward?
*S*peech: Ask them to repeat a sentence. Can they do so correctly without slurring?
*T*ime: If you suspect someone is having a stroke, get them to a hospital ASAP! You have a limited amount of time before the effects of a stroke are irreversible!