Annual Labor

I struggled to find a title to adequately describe an annual event that is not exactly happy (as in "Happy Birthday!" or "Happy Anniversary!") yet it is not sad either, such as in honoring a loved one who died on a certain date.

Today, April 6th, marks the one-year-ago-today since The Stroke.  I honestly never thought a year ago, that I would be seeing this date, one year in the future. I think back to that horrifying day when our world crashed down around us. I think back to the year since seeing how far we have come.

It is also a "graduation" of sorts: Yesterday we had what was (hopefully) our last visit to the Stroke Clinic. While in the waiting room, an older man and his wife and most likely their daughter, were sitting across from us. His wife was talking to him, but I noticed the daughter was agitated. She went up to the desk and said "Look, he is still in pain, please do something!"

A person at the desk said she would get a doctor to come out immediately. The doctor came out and spoke to the man and his wife. The wife said they had been at the hotel and he felt pain in his head and leg. He asked the man where the pain was, and the man could only grunt and point. I realized that this man had lost his ability to speak. My heart broke for them. My heart broke for the daughter who was so stressed out over her father's condition. Oh, I have been there and still am in many ways, trying to articulate why my beloved DH still has pain.

I know! I know! We are so lucky! I have heard it a million times (and said it to myself). But when you hear that phrase, it somehow negates the fact that you are indeed suffering. It diminishes your private pain. We are indeed "lucky" (which I actually take to mean as "blessed").  When we spoke to the doctor, he said that DH is no more at risk for a (second) stroke than those who have never had one. That was especially sweet to hear. He doesn't have motor issues, nor cognitive issues. He has regained a good share of the lost vision. We eat very well and he takes proper supplements.

Then the bad news. We got back the report for his lipid panel and it does not look as good as we had hoped. He has been off the statins for about 4-5 months and the cholesterol numbers reflect that.
I was so hoping that by changing his diet, we could control his numbers. Genetic make-up is nigh impossible to change, laddies. (I thought it would sound better in a Scottish accent)

Going back on statins to me is not an option. He has had nothing but agony while on them (and possibly the ongoing muscle and nerve pain now that have hung around). I am stumped for ideas. The studies seem to show that statins do not prevent heart attacks. What about stroke?  In talking to the doctor yesterday, we learned that having a completely blocked carotid artery is not that unusual. He told us they even remove them surgically sometimes. That was a shocker! I knew they sometimes put in stents or did roto-rootering of the arteries (not as common as they once did) but removal? I guess if it is concreted in like an oil well in the Gulf, well, why have it at all? We discussed what he can or should not do. (Our concern was how to keep the plaque from loosening and jetting off into the brain to possible cause another stroke.)

NOTS:

• No Chiropractic neck twists
• no crazy sudden neck extensions

CANS:

• Carnival rides (really???) 
• gentle neck exercises
• massages 

Surprisingly, he told us that young people are more at risk for neck issues because of carotid artery tearings. Their veins are more susceptible to the elasticity. Wow, another reason to get old, your veins get all hard and tough.

He then told us a story about a patient he had that had suffered a stroke. He was morbidly obese, a smoker, he was an extreme out-of-control diabetic and he was demanding to go home against his doctor's wishes. The doctor said quietly "Either he is back shortly or will die. But I see in you (DH) that you are doing all the right things. You've changed your diet, you don't smoke, you keep your weight low, you do all you can. That's the success story we like."
I can offer up my heartiest "Amen!". I think you do all that you can to control the environment around you (and obviously we cannot control everything) but doing what you can to live as well as you can, and the other stuff is left up to chance.

Last year we lost a close friend to pancreatic cancer. While he was going through treatment, his wife was already starting the grieving process. The life they had was gone. She feared life without him, so much that it was haunting her every waking moment. Someone said to her something like this "Well, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow."

I think it put into perspective that none of us have any promise about how long we have here, but to live life to the fullest with the time we have. Don't grieve for the time you don't have tomorrow, but rejoice in the time you have today.


Don't spend time on petty arguments or silly stuff. Tell your loved ones you love them. Do something nice for someone else. Spend time with those you love. Step outside your comfort zone and do something daring. Have a blast! Read a book. Knit a scarf, then donate it. Write a letter (not just an email). Spruce up the house. Eat healthier. Get exercise. Get a haircut. Buy a new outfit. Lose some weight. Kiss your darling. Cuddle your kids and grandkids. Write your memoirs so your kids know who you are. Throw out crap. Get rid of hatred in your life. Forgive someone. Dance. Recycle. Sign up to be an organ donor. Plant some flowers. Buy some flowers. Plant a garden or buy Really Good Produce. Smile and say good morning to people walking by. Tell silly jokes. Forgive yourself. Stop smoking. Curtail your drinking. Ride the roller coaster. Take a walk. Talk, really talk, to your spouse/partner. Go to a movie. Make out at the movies. Play a board game. Be stupid. Be smart. Make a dumb face in the middle of an argument and crack up the other person. Be kind. Be sweet. Do something crazy. Kiss. A lot. Be thankful.
And dang it! have a Happy Day. Any old day.