I got a note today that made me cry (in a good way). I want to share it with you.
Dear _____________,
Our sincere thanks for taking the time and effort to help return the _(college)__ gift card to us. I am amazed at the work you went through to find us and greatly appreciate your honesty and willingness to return the card. Our daughter who is a student at _____ gave the card to her dad for his birthday and he had just used a portion of it on Dad's Weekend. He will only use the card when he is with her so he was thrilled to get it back. Thank you again so much--we will "pay it forward".
Happy Holidays,
S R
This blew me away...I can't believe she took the time to write. I have often felt that it is important to tell people something nice..you never know what they are going through. A man in our city was a street-corner musician. He liked to do magic tricks to entertain children as well as play music for a few bucks. He was often homeless, but was such a cheerful soul. Many times he commented to his friends whether he really mattered. A few weeks ago, he committed suicide. There were editorials in the paper, there were letters from people saying how much he meant to them. Did they ever express that?
To him?
At our friend's celebration of life this past week, a long time friend of his had spent some time with him near the end of his fight with pancreatic cancer. He related that M said "I am not afraid of dying, but I'm afraid I will not be remembered." With the huge crowd that showed up and the stories they told, it was evident that he was loved by many...his adoring family and friends. I know guys have a hard time expressing feelings, but I genuinely hope his friends let him know how much he meant to them before he was gone. Obviously, he felt the love of family, I know his wife expressed it often. Have you told someone lately how much you love them? How much you appreciate the little things (and big things) they do?
A couple weeks ago, we went to a retirement-ish gathering for my DH. Many former students were there plus notes and cards from all over expressing how much he had meant to them as a professor. I know it meant it a lot to him. I also got to thinking, I am singling out friends to make sure they express appreciation, but I realized that there are many many family members that take each other for granted. A wife stops kissing her husband good bye in the morning. A husband doesn't express his thanks for a meal or clean socks in the drawer. A kid does chores without being asked and it's ignored. A comment is misunderstood and taken for criticism, hurting the one you love the most.
We also are quick to complain when something goes wrong, but forget to compliment when it goes right.
My DH was married before. Although he never really let on, I know he was very hurt by some actions in his former life. I know we all hurt each other at various times (guilty as charged!) but when something is done on purpose, such as maybe going to a party and being left there to sit alone the whole night, or belittling someone because they are not good enough or saying vile things just to cause pain, well it crosses the line. How many divorces are caused by stupid comments and miscommunication...i.e. one spouse uses the ignoring technique to shut the other out, effectively ruling out any kind of compromise, instead making it a weapon of mass destruction?
We have the most wonderful marriage. Why? Mutual love and respect. I make sure when we are in a crowd of people I praise him...in his hearing. I serve him first at a meal. I continually tell him how much I appreciate him for all he does for us. I try to let him know how utterly dear he is to me. Every single day. What do I get in return? Pure adoration and devotion. He makes me feel like a million dollars, an equal partner, he has never ever belittled me. We have never had a serious argument. He is my everything. How do I know it's so perfect? Well, I was married before too, and it was so painful to be made to feel like nothing each and every day.
He is an amazing father, grandfather, friend, and husband. I want him to know that every single day of his life.
Please please please tell the people in your life how much you love and care for them. Even the guy who packs your groceries. The gas station guy who freezes his butt off to run out and help you. The manager of the store who makes an effort to get you a special order. The medical professional who goes the extra mile to make sure you are cared for.The Starbucks barista who has your favorite drink ready when you walk through the door. The husband who works all day then helps clean the house when he gets home. The kid who puts away the dishes without being asked. The wife who goes to three stores to buy an ingredient to make that special meal. Yes, even writing the thank you card that was unexpected to tell someone how much their actions meant to them. Make someones day!
PS: I also got an email from the lady with the missing purse, thanking me for returning it. That was pretty cool too.
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