DH and I just returned from a mini-vacation taking the coast from almost the very north, to the south of our beautiful state. In fact, we were able to creep into the northern part of our neighbors to the south. Now if you can decipher that sentence, I am impressed. We had decided to just "drive", no firm plans, no reservations made. We were fortunate in that nearly everywhere we wanted to stay, we found a room. This was a good time to just get the R and R we were craving. So much has happened in the last few months that we were physically and mentally exhausted. Just being able to drive was HUGE. I am reminded that it was only 4 months ago that DH had a stroke, lost his vision, and was unable to drive for 8 weeks after. We thought he had forever lost that ability, so it was doubly sweet. We explored state parks, waysides, viewpoints, cheesy tourist stores, restaurants, luxury suites and rustic cabins. There were 3 places along the way that we had always wanted to stay in, and as luck (and cancellations from others) would have it, we were able to stay there. Two of those were more rustic than rustic: One a very old motel on the coast that had log cabins and the other in a National Monument with a CCC built hotel. We were lucky it had its own bathroom :-)
This national Monument has a cave that we have gone to many times, but we decided to go again.
Pre-stroke it is dicey. Post-stroke with vision loss and depth perception trauma was REALLY exciting. Here is the dilemma I face as a concerned (i.e. nagging) wife. How much help do I offer? Where is the line drawn that is smothering vs helpful? I realized very early on in the cave tour it was going to be an issue. Tight spots, stairs, faint light add up to a careful trek on DH's part and much concern on my part. I thought that if I went first I could warn him of the overhanging spots and the uneven steps. Next, I held out my hand on the uneven pathway parts should he feel the need for a little extra guidance. It worked out okay, but I was worried that I was "smothering". We talked about it later and he said it was okay and that he really depended on me to help when needed. As I said, it is a fine line and I am learning as I go along where that line should be firmly demarcated and where it is fuzzier.
Having been on the road, we didn't hear news of the tragedy in Colorado until much later in the day. I was so stunned. I think when you start hearing stories of survivors and stories of people giving their own lives to protect others, you are filled with awe. I have no doubt that I would die to protect someone I love. This is a given. If someone were to attempt to harm my loved ones, I would fight to the death to protect them. Of this I am certain. There have been many times in my life that doing the right thing have come up. Some of those occasions have been with perfect strangers. Once I was driving past a house where a pickup truck with metal cans in the back (and an out of state license plate) was parked and a man was stooped down on a driveway with an elderly woman. He was pointing out cracks in her driveway. I played a hunch (snoop that I am) and stopped and said to the woman : "Do you know this man? Is he trying to get you to repair your driveway?" He immediately got up, all 300 pounds of beef slab and told me to mind my own business. I told him it was my business if he was trying to bilk an old lady. I told her he was trying to rip her off and suggested she go in to call the police. Then I called the police. Apparently this "gentleman" was one of many with tarry paint cans that went around conning the elderly and "repairing" cracks. Ok, so maybe I should have just called the police and not confronted the jerk. However, this was minor compared to the ultimate in stupidity that I did one time. I was walking downtown and there was some sort of group watching a huge man beating on a woman much smaller than he. I was struck by the bystanders, mostly well-dressed MEN no doubt on their lunch hours. I said to no one in particular: "What the heck is going on?" UNBELIEVEABLY, one replied "Oh it's just two drunken Indians having a spat." Are you kidding me?? This was happening in broad daylight? Not to mention the overt racism. Had it been a minority beating on a white woman, would that have made a difference? Not one was doing anything to help nor even calling the police! (pre-cell phone days) I ran into the nearest store and told them to call the police, then I did a crazy thing without thinking: I jumped on this man's back and started hitting him and telling him to stop beating this woman. Did I stop and think he might be armed? Or that he might hurt me? No. All I could see was someone beating someone into a pulp. Stupid stupid stupid. However, my stupid actions caused other men in the crowd to finally act, to subdue this man and hold him until police arrived. Would I do this today? Hopefully, I would be slightly more clear-headed and call the police w/o jumping into the fray and possibly getting hurt or killed.
I will close with one more story. I was pregnant with my second child. Very pregnant. I happened to go to a mini-mart to pick something up when I was accosted by a man whom I did not know. He started screaming at me, calling me names and menacing me by blocking my passage outside the store. I was terrified. Thinking he might have a weapon , but trying to protect my child, I decided to make a run for it...if I could only get into the store I would be safe. He grabbed me and started to drag me towards his car. I fought and fought and got out of his grasp and shoved past him. I ran into the store and said "Please call the police! This man is attacking me!" The clerk looked at me and said these horrifying words I will never forget: "Hey lady, I don't want to get involved in your domestic dispute." I screamed at him "I have never seen this man before! Please help me!" He did...NOTHING. I was so shaken I could barely speak. He wouldn't let me use the phone. He wouldn't call the cops. Nothing. If I could go back in time, I would spit in his face. Not just the bad guy, but the guy who didn't want to get involved, who in my mind was worse. the bad guy? Probably mentally unstable. The "good" guy in the store: He didn't want to get involved. How dare he?
Maybe you can't save the world, but you can report something that doesn't feel right. You can stop laughing at racist jokes and tell someone that is wrong. If someone is bullying another, make a stand. If you see harm being done, do something. If you don't want to physically become involved that is understandable, but for God's sake, TELL someone in authority. Penn State learned this the hard way. Looking the other way and burying their collective heads in the sand has cost them far more than just money. It has turned their championship program into a graveyard. I have no pity whatsover for those weak and puny "leaders" that I think of as scum. Do The Right Thing, for those who cannot do for themselves. And keep doing it until someone listens.
No comments:
Post a Comment