Whack-A-Mole

This morning I sent emails to two women who have had way too many things on their proverbial plates. They both took their time to send me cards y'day. One was a thank you and one was a "thinking of you" card. What made these extraordinary is that both took time out of their own "Whack-a-Mole" lives to write ME. What does a "Whack-A-Mole" life consist of? This is a life of you hit one problem and another crops up right behind it, you just never know where it will rear its ugly little head.
Person A) RJ is an amazing mother of three. Her eldest is in the military, soon to be shipped out. Whack. Her husband lost his job awhile back. Whack. They lost their house. Whack. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Whack. She has had her own scare with BC. Whack. They have no insurance. Whack. She took the time to write ME. I am humbled.
Person B) AO is another amazing woman. Her husband was diagnosed 2 years ago with diabetes. Whack. It wasn't. It has since been diagnosed as pancreatic cancer. Whack. Whack. Whack. She took the time to write to ME. I am humbled indeed.

I think of many many others who regularly participate in the W-A-M game and still...they hammer away.
M and J: She fell, breaking her wrist causing all kinds of problems. Whack. Now you might think "Ah, not so bad, she will heal" Yet, this was her writing hand and she laboriously wrote me a letter of encouragement, LEFT HANDED, which had to have taken her a long time. Also, this accident happened shortly after her husband had cancer surgery and she nursed him back to health. Whack. ALL THE WHILE SENDING OUT CARDS AND NOTES TO PEOPLE WHO WERE HURTING, while she herself was hurting.Wow. I am humbled multiple times.
Our beloved cousins came up from California to visit yday. They are very experienced in the W-A-M game. Their daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 38. Whack. She had a double mastectomy. Whack. A year later, more breast cancer...Whack. Chemo. Whack. Radiation. Whack. Hair loss. Whack. Whack. Whack.They took time out of their W-A-M lives to visit and help us with the Eagle ceremony. I am humbled indeed again and again.
MG: Their daughter (see above) Whack. Whack. Whack. She is a full time teacher, currently on sabbatical who is walking the Avon Walk to raise money for BC, then riding her bike 220 miles on the Tour De Pink to raise MORE money for BC. And yet she sends us cards to encourage us frequently. 

JD: RJ's mom. Breast cancer. Whack. Surgery. Whack. Drugs have created problems with her heart. Whack. Whack. Whack. She sends me HANDMADE cards of encouragement. Ok, now I am starting to tear up when I think of these wonderful people who lift us up in the midst of their own pain.

Another BFF: BG, a breast cancer survivor: Whack. Just after DH's stroke, she and her hubby came to visit...not telling us that they found a suspicious growth on her breast and had surgery to remove it...because she didn't want to add to our pain. WHACK.

DH: Lung cancer. Whack. Yet, she calls me to see how we're doing.
Humbled Humbled Humbled Humbled Humbled

There are so so many people who have gone out of their way to be there for us. How? Why? What in the world are they thinking????? Shouldn't they be taking care of themselves?????? What the heck? What I can say is: Thank you. A poor substitute for the superlatives you so richly deserve.
Saturday: Eagle ceremony. Looking forward to the gathering of friends and family who (whom?) we love and adore coming together to celebrate our son's accomplishment. And let me add this: Several people have asked what they should get him for his Eagle. I asked him, and he didn't hesitate for one second. (Gift cards? I-tunes card? a car?) No, he said: "Mom, what I really wish people would do is give to a charity. Preferably one that helps animals." Wow. I am stunned. Yet, this is how he has been his whole life. He has had bday parties where he asked people to donate pet food/leases/dog toys to seniors with pets. He has had food drives for his bday to donate to the food bank. Gotta love this kid. Just for that I won't whack him lol

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, off to work we go

We have so many events coming up that our work around the house never ends. First big event: June 2nd: Our son is having his Eagle Court of Honor (proud parents taking all the credit)
June 10th: June family birthdays/early Father's Day
June 16th: Daughter #3 Party for her college graduation (which is held the next day on Father's Day: Blasphemy) (proud parents taking all the credit)
July 14th: Celebration of Life Party for one of my BFF's. This is the tough one. You see, she has lung cancer and wants to have a party while she is still feeling well enough to enjoy it. Tough because it feels like saying goodbye. But it isn't about me, it is about what she wants and I try to remember that. Her friends and loved ones will gather not to mourn, but to celebrate an amazing woman. I anticipate this will be a "roast" more than a tearful-feel-sorry-for-ourselves session. Why? Because she is one of the most frickin' funny women evah! (not to mention the kindest, sweetest, coolest). When we hang out, I can't help but smile the whole time. Now if she is reading this, she won't recognize herself, because she thinks she is just a regular gal, but we know better...It's her friends little secret, but everyone thinks she is their BFF because she makes you feel so special. You know how your parents tell each kid "I always loved you best?" Yeah, we all think she loves US the best, right, D? Love you D. Live Long, Love Much...
So we have been painting, cleaning, purging. (This sounds strangely like an eating disorder) It always feels good to get rid of bits and pieces of gar'bage. Thanks to the Neighborhood clean-up that was scheduled today, it couldn't have come at a better time.
I know everyone likes to freshen up their space. It clears your head as well as your physical space. There is something so nice about open spaces. Clutter has a way of making you feel so stifled. (There is a man who is famous for his clutter-busting ways that wrote a book that was called "Does this Clutter Make My Butt look Fat?" or some such title. It is making the point that clutter can cause so many other symptoms in your life that can make you crazy. The question becomes how the heck did we accumulate ALL THIS STUFF? We have donated piles of odds and ends of building materials to the Rebuilding Center. Arts/Crafts/Sewing supplies to SCRAP, an artist's supply house, metal to recycling, plastic to recycling, woody waste to recycling. Furniture to Community Warehouse, one of our favorite places to donate: They supply people with household supplies and furniture that may be leaving an abusive relationship and starting over, or a homeless family in a new apartment. It is an amazing organization.
So, if you're gonna toss, toss it to recycling or a to reuse organization that helps people. Nothing wrong with Goodwill, but CW GIVES it away to the most needy. Cool that.
DH continues to get better. Having a project or two or three helps a LOT. Keep this man busy! I think the hardest thing is how tired he gets. I get concerned about this, because then I have to do more work. Just kidding! It's just hard to see him feeling kinda crappy. Must Keep Him Busy so he doesn't have time to feel tired. Please don't tell him I keep inventing jobs for him to do, it's a secret...

Driving Miss Crazy

Maiden voyage for DH on Wednesday. We needed to run a couple of errands and so I asked him if he wanted to drive. He was ambivalent, to say the least. Excited to drive, but wary: it has been 6 plus weeks. He told me "I really want to stick with the familiar at first, you know, drive a bit around the neighborhood, get my bearings." I immediately said "COSTCO!" I mean the car can practically drive itself there, so no worries! He did just fine. I could tell he was nervous, stopping a little longer, looking a little further down the road, scanning for traffic...but all in all, it was good. He got more comfortable and relaxed as the time went by. One hairy moment was when a car came around the bend INTO OUR LANE at a very blind corner (no pun intended), but DH saved the day and compensated. I think it was a good first start. Granted, we won't be driving to Ohio or anything, but baby steps, baby steps. Speaking of which, when a baby starts walking, we expect him or her to fall a lot as they keep getting up and keep on trying.  (Sometimes falling, and getting up while still crying) We are a lot harder on ourselves as we grow up. We think if we have a set back it is a BAD thing, but really it is a learning process. The hard part is to keep getting up in spite of falling. Many years ago, a class I was taking in college was for calligraphy. The teacher impressed on us what a wonderful thing it was to be a beginner in anything. You want to give your best and you are gung ho to practice and be more forgiving of yourself than when you've been doing something for awhile. My biggest problem has always been perfection. If I knit something and it is not perfect, I almost always tear it out and start over.
I once read where a story about how the Amish purposely knit or sew something with a flaw so as not to get too proud. Don't know if this is apocryphal, but I will take it at face value. Sometimes by wanting something to be too perfect it makes you lose pleasure in the hobby. I just finished knitting a dishcloth that isn't perfect. Somehow, I messed up a stitch and tried to compensate w/o tearing it apart. I notice the flaw; I doubt if the giftee would notice it. I used to point out the flaws, but no more. It is still a gift of love. Just like human relationships, we are all flawed, but by giving what is our best (even if it is not someone else's best) it is still a gift of love. My friend A pointed out this morning that we are so busy comparing ourselves to others and their "best" may not be OUR best, but OUR best is just fine. There will always be someone more talented, better looking, thinner, more put together, richer, blah blah blah. We have got to cut ourselves a break here!
I love my DH so very much and I am so proud of him. He is doing everything humanly possible to get better, from eye exercises to eating vegan-ish w/o complaint. He is giving it his best shot. Not just for himself, but for ME and our family. He is a shining example of the gift of love. And, if he fails, (or what he constitutes as failure) he is a little more forgiving of himself than he used to be. I used to listen to a radio show where the talk show host would tell people to do this or that. They would reply "I'll try!" She would get so mad and rag on them that you either do it or not, no try about it. So, ok, I will do it (whatever "it" is at the moment) and if it doesn't work, well alright. I will look for another way.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Thomas A. Edison
PS, speaking of failure: My "H" button on the keyboard is not working, so I reread my blog posting and it said stuff like: Tis or Tat and umanly possible. Well, if the darn keyboard isn't working, should I expect perfection from myself? HA. or A. Guess not.

Was blind, but now can see

These words, from my favorite hymn of all times, (Amazing Grace) symbolize the gratefulness we feel as we left the neuro-ophthalmologist yesterday morning. DH was given the all-clear to drive once again. Now if you have ever had something taken from you that you consider precious, or lost a freedom that you took for granted until that day, you will know what I am talking about. The loss of your driving privileges pretty much rank up there near the top of the list of Things I Take For Granted but Really Miss A Whole Lot When It's Gone. Now let me be very clear here. Things could have been a whole lot worse with the stroke and we are extremely grateful that they weren't. That said, to hear the magic words that while DH has not regained 100% of his vision, he has regained enough to drive once again, are magical words indeed. He will take it slow, (I get to be the Back Seat Driver in the Front Passenger side until he feels comfortable once again...whew two boys learning to drive at the same time lol) We started immediately turning it over in our brains: Was it the therapy? Is it healing on its own? Well, the doctor thinks it is a combination: Sometimes when you make your eyes stronger with exercises, your brain helps fill in the blanks. Don't you just love the way your body is designed to work even when one part stops working, another part can take over. On a related note, DH had his cholesterol levels drawn, approximately 5 1/2 weeks post stroke. Now I don't know if it is the meds or the fabulous as-close-to-vegan-w/o-being vegan diet I have him on (duh, of course its the diet!) but here it is by the numbers:
Day after the stroke (4/7/12:                                                    5/14/12

Triglycerides: 155                                                                        96
Cholesterol:    182                                                                       117
LDL                121                                                                         66

ZOWIE. Still impressive, well impressive enough that he wants to keep eating mostly-vegan or as I like to call it: vegan-IST.Maybe I should say vegan-ISH.
On a totally unrelated note: Congratulations to our son who went before the Eagle Scout Board of Review tonight and passed with Flying Colors. (Pardon the Pun)
Son, you rock. Both DH and I got teary eyed in the Parent interview. We are so proud! Our many thanks to the board for making this happen quickly, so he could get his Eagle before leaving to work at Scout camp for the summer. 


"They shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31B

Another Day...Another Doctor, plus an addendum!

This not sleeping past 4 or 5 am is getting to me. I try, I really try to go back to sleep, and sometimes I am successful...I play SCRABBLE  on my Kindle. Sometimes I fall asleep during the game, then when I wake up later, I have zero (14 points) recollection (72 points for using all my letters) of playing those words. Is this the equivalent of "drunk dialing"? I am also a fashion plate this morning. I have leopard pj bottoms on and a red polka-dot Lucille Ball pj top on. If someone snapped my picture, it would definitely go into the "What NOT to wear" file. So, back to the topic at hand. DH started getting sick a few days ago and by Wednesday was in full tilt head-blowing-off sinus/cold/allergy mode. He had chills, shakes, fever and was so miserable, I thought I would just make him an appointment at the clinic. D4 had just had a major sinus infection, so I was thinking he probably had the same thing. So as soon as the clock struck 730, I call the clinic and was able to get him in at 930 with a nurse practitioner. I had an early morning chiro appt, so the plan was to take son to school, go to chiro, zoom home, pick up DH, drop him off and go work out at the community center across the street for a half an hour or so. I am finding that exercise is my escape route. If I can work out 30-45 minutes several times a week, I feel better. Or at least I feel superior for having done it. After all these years of touting diet and exercise to lose weight! feel great! I had better be listening to my own advice. Plus, exercise at the gym is my own little escape hatch. Put in my Ipod, turn on my Kindle, and hide out. (What's on YOUR Ipod? I have an eclectic mix of Gospel, rousing rock n' roll, rap, country, celtic. On my Kindle besides Scrabble...which is hard to play when you are working out....is a book I am reading about the Lindbergh Baby kidnapping, an historical fiction novel re-imagined with a private detective in the lead role. The details are extraordinarily accurate and the back drop of mobsters and g-men and famous people in the 30's is quite interesting) As I said before I digressed, (Adult Onset Attention Deficit Order anyone?) the plan was to work out and then we would meet up 30 or so minutes later. I told DH this and he immediately starts arguing. Ok, I know he wasn't feeling well, I get that, but he rarely gets testy, so I was cutting him some extra slack. This is how the conversation went:
ME:"Honey, I will park at the clinic and walk to the community center and work out. I will have my phone and so you can call me when you are done and I will come back."
DH:"I will probably be out in 10 minutes anyway and besides, I am not that sick."
ME: "You are that sick and I will come back immediately when you call."
DH: " Why don't you park over there and I will walk across when I am done so at least I can sit and wait...." Translation: If you must leave me to my own devices and abandon me so you can go work out, I will whine. I really AM that sick and you are ignoring that fact.(My eyes are starting to bleed about now)
ME: "Honey, I will leave the second you call, whether it is 10 minutes or 30 minutes, I promise." Translation: I could have been half way through my work out if we weren't fussing over the work out.
So, he is off to the NP, I am off to the CC.
30 minutes later, no word. HA! Secretly, I feel I have won the battle and am thinking "told ya so!" I call my BFF who lives a few blocks from here as I had to pick something up at her house. She agreed to start walking and meet me after I explained what was what. Meanwhile I sent a "ETA?" text to DH. No response. So I went off to meet her and we had a nice little chat about men being sick. You might surmise the conversation went something like this: "Yeah, I'd like to see them in labor! Haha, they wouldn't get more than 2 seconds into it and would start demanding drugs! LOL hahah." Of course NEITHER of us would even think such a thing. let alone say it. So after a short conversation, I started walking back towards the clinic, when I get a text: "Had a chest x-ray, on my way to EKG." WHAT THE HECK???? I called my BFF and told her what was on the text and she said (knowingly) "Is there something he didn't tell you this morning?"  I raced to the clinic, feeling like absolute crap, because maybe he was a lot sicker than I thought. They let me into his room and I breathlessly interrogated him about his status: "Why the xray???? why the EKG???? what do they suspect????
Based on his history of pneumonia, the xray was a precaution. Based on the fact HE WAS HAVING CHEST PAIN AND DIDN'T TELL HIS WIFE, they were getting the EKG. I kinda flipped out when they said this. Bad news/good news: anomaly on the EKG, but exactly the same as in the hospital
post-stroke. At least I guess that is good news. So, no antibiotics, just sudafed and nasal spray and make sure it doesn't get worse. Now, let me take a moment to rant about Sudafed. In the rush to stem the tide of  home-based methamphetamine labs, our state no longer sells Sudafed, even OTC. You must get a prescription and because it is AGAINST THE LAW in our state (one of two states apparently) it is never covered by insurance,even though one can go to the doc, get a scrip, go to the pharmacy, and get it filled. Thank you legislators. You have just scored high on the ding-dong scale. I might add that I could get into my car, drive 20 minutes over the state line and buy the illicit drug. But weighing the cost of gas vs getting the scrip filled here, I opted for the second choice. While at the store, I noticed that they had marked down bouquets that I assume were left over from Mother's Day, so I bought some, for me and a couple of friends, share the wealth. Also bought ingredients for homemade chicken soup. which is funny, it is 70 degrees outside but I thought DH could use a dose of the nectar-of-the-gods-when-you-have-a-cold. Somehow the salt laden Campbell's didn't seem that appetizing. So back home, soup on, tucked in, DH was content to sack out in front of the boob tube to catch up on Netflix sci-fi. Poor sweetie. Yes, full disclosure: I felt badly that I let him go to the doc alone. Obviously, I failed again, but hopefully made up for it in the soup quotient. I was so happy to see this day come to an end.

 

Addendum to my blog this morning. I was just finishing it up when there was a terrible commotion out on the roof. I saw feathers flying and half a dozen screaming crows pummeling the roof. I went out to see and there was an injured starling on the roof overhang, within reach. It was still breathing. I took the extension grabber and gathered him? her? up to assess the injuries and it looked like a severely broken leg and wing. Whether from the attack or it's what made the birds attack, I do not know. Could it survive? Doubtful. I put it into a box and went online. I know I hate to see anything suffer. It seems so inhumane. Many people in the same situation said "euthanasia", but what does that involve? I am not up to snapping a little critter's neck. It was obviously in mortal pain.(can you say mortal in relation to a bird?) One suggestion online was thus:"My advice: if the bird looks like it's suffering, kill it quickly and then replenish your karma by doing something good for somebody else. Leaving it to suffer is probably the least-desirable option, and a bird that's supposed to fly but can't is in an untenable situation, unless you're willing to take care of it - and even then, you've got no way of knowing whether it's suffering despite your best care."

This made my decision a little easier. I couldn't let it suffer, nor leave it on the roof for the crazy crows (Heckle and Jeckle and then some) to fight over. I euthanized it in what I am hoping was a gentle way, no neck snapping involved. RIP little birdie. Sorry you had to suffer. I am reminded that my dad hated to see anything suffer. It absolutely drove him nuts when we would put bugs into a jar w/o letting them go. One day he was out driving and when he got home, he called us outside. In a jar was a dead bat that he had hit with the car and it had stuck on the radiator. He felt so bad! It just made him squeamish for anything to hurt, so I think of that. I know nature and the survival of the fittest blah blah blah, but it still pains me to a) see suffering and b) end that suffering even if it is the best course of action.  The better part of valor? I suppose. I liked the part about replenishing your karma. Even though I'm not a big believer in "karma" per se (poop happens), I did like the suggestion of doing something nice for someone else, to balance the universe maybe? So today, I will do something nice as an added bonus, in honor of the little bird's fighting spirit. I'll go run over a crow. Just kidding. I will keep you posted on what I did to make someone's day a little brighter.

In my spare time...

I just realized I had not posted anything since Wednesday. Honestly, stuff has a way of cutting into my "free" time.  On Wednesday, I spoke to a dear friend whose DH is currently being treated for pancreatic cancer. This type of cancer is particularly insidious, often found too late for treatment and by its very nature of the mutation, hard to treat, as it seems to be a thickened structure that, because of its density, chemo drugs have a hard time permeating the tumor. He has always taken care of her and they do a lot together, traveling, dinners out, enjoying his retirement and her part-time flexible work schedule. All that ended with his diagnosis last December. They are in crisis mode, gathering together all means of possible treatment. But what very few people can understand (and she said she hopes they never do) is the real possibility of losing your loved one way too early. I think of it as the Married Widow(er) Syndrome. Not to be confused with Merry Widow(er). No, MWS is the weirdest stage of your life. You are grieving the loss of the life you once had, the happy-go-lucky-time-to-enjoy-life-coz-your-kids-are older. Instead, your days are filled with doctor appointments, hectic planning, throw-away-the-rule-book, sickness, sadness, depression...and that is just the spouse affected with the illness. The healthier spouse can only try to pick up the pieces of the depressed and ill spouse, be a cheerleader, do research, get them to appointments,,,and cry a lot, preferably in the bathroom or the car where your beloved doesn't see you. I remember a book written many years ago written by Betty Rollin who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1975. The book was called "First You Cry" which is apt. I think you are allowed a good cry at first, but then everyone wants to see you perky! happy! positive! So you cry in private. But enough of this whining!!!!
DH had his first post-stroke visit with the Stroke Clinic, was it really a MONTH ago when he had his stroke? and we learned some things we didn't know. (WHAT???? There are things we don't know????)

1. The goal of medicine and diet changes are NOT to unclog the occluded left carotid artery. This in fact, would be dangerous, and quite possibly cause another stroke. Hmm, is this like the cement blocking the oil well in the Gulf last year? As in, keep 'er plugged cap'n!
2. The actual goal of the changes is to make sure the right one stays open and no further damage is incurred.
3. The body has an amazing capacity to overcome trivial things like clogged arteries. it can grow new pathways to get to the brain. Very cool and high tech. Ok, this isn't high tech, its your body compensating for your messing up.
4. You want your blood pressure at a nice even keel. Not too high...stroke time, and not too low...heart failure.
5. While there, we were told of a study by Yale University to find out the connection between pre-diabetes and stroke. Now, let it be known, that DH does NOT have diabetes, but there was some concern, a small one, voiced by two of his doctors that some of his blood tests could indicate a problem. So, long story short, we signed him up for the study. We won't know for a few weeks if he even qualifies, as that is indicated by what his markers show in his blood work. But it is interesting nonetheless.

We had so many questions and the doctor was quite gracious in answering them all for us. This is unusual in the fact that they normally have blocked out time of 15-30 minutes and we know we ran WAY over, which resulted in other patients being kept waiting. So very sorry! We're new at this. (I never dreamed I would be a newbie at dealing with a STROKE. How I hate that word) We left the doctor's office feeling more hopeful and certainly more informed. We decided a date at the Art Museum was just the ticket. Angry woman coming: Full disclosure here. When you are in an ART museum or any other MUSEUM or PUBLIC PLACE: Do not have a loud cell phone conversation that speaks of someone else's bodily part/bodily functions/surgical procedures at the TOP OF YOUR VOICE and the person on the other end's TOP OF THEIR VOICE. It kinda ruins the experience of the whole day. that said: There was the MOST amazing display by a man named John Frame.Here is a link you might get a kick out of:http://www.huntington.org/huntingtonlibrary_02.aspx?id=8690

On Saturday D3 and D4 went to see Tim Gunn from Project Runway and they had booths that were informational on all kinds of subjects. One was put on by Providence that stressed knowing the signs of stroke. I thought it was great, except, I still have a bit of a bone to pick: They don't mention eyesight changes. Honestly, if I had been more aware, I think I would have been more insistent about heading to the hospital in the beginning. In hindsight...well, I cannot think about that now. But as in anything, educate educate educate. If ONE person who reads this saves someone's life by knowing more about stroke, well then it's a good thing. Anyway, both girls got a streak and a button for stroke awareness month and maybe, just maybe, someone will see it and be more aware.

So today is Mother's Day, a day to remember moms everywhere.
Thanks to all the Moms out there who have blessed my life and those of their children. I LOVE being a wife and Mommy. Thanks to DH and the kids for lighting up my life...every single blessed day.

The Eagle has (nearly) Landed

On Tuesday night, our son had the next to the last step in his Eagle Scout process by meeting with the woman who decides if all paperwork is in order, then she schedules the Eagle board of review, which we are so lucky: It is fast tracked and his appt with the board is in two weeks. We are trying desperately to get it all done, (and you know the saying: it ain't done till the paperwork is in...)so he can have his Eagle ceremony before leaving to work at Scout camp for the summer as a lifeguard and support staff. We had an emotional mother/son moment in that when we walked out of the room, he grabbed me, gave me a hug, and said "I love you, mom!" OK, Mother's Day arrived early. I got all teary eyed and emotional and just felt so very proud of him. We started tentatively planning the ceremony in the hopes it will actually happen; our beloved cousins are coming from out of town and we are hoping to work it out so they can be there too. Now that would be frosting on the cake if we can arrange it. Here are a couple more pictures of the before and after headstone cleaning from his Eagle project.

Cray-Cray

The post title refers to daughter #4's (D4) funny word for crazy. It has indeed been craziness around here lately. I actually got my own play-date on Friday. I had an exciting opportunity to be a "Super-model-for-a-day" (not to be confused with "Queen-for-a-Day" an old TV show where some lucky lady was picked to receive prizes galore such as a new washer and dryer! a wheelchair! <actually happened> flatware! based on audience applause for the most sobby story: I could so win that! lol) Anyhow, back to the modeling. I shop at this awesome boutique/consignment store that is a non-profit...all funds raised go to helping the homeless on our streets. The owner/operator is an amazing woman named Tanya that just exudes passion for the homeless, it is more than a nice thing she does, for her it is a true calling. Anyhow, she was given the opportunity to put on a modeling show for a women's club luncheon at an exclusive golf course here in town. Apparently, the original shop cancelled...I don't want to mention their name but it rhymes with Gordstrum's. So here is the twist: Tanya had 12 models all modeling clothing/accessories from her shop! Most everyone wore fun summer clothing, yes big brand names, all stylish, but I got the cream of the crop, a beautiful satin polka dot evening out dress (coincidentally from the above named shop) that had originally sold for $200...yeah I researched it online...I bought it for $20. I felt like a million dollars. Tanya had a make-up artist from Jafra do our make-up and the club even sprung for a lovely luncheon for us...fruit and finger-sandwiches, even some veggie ones (yay) FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PEOPLE:SUPER MODELS DON'T EAT!. Anyway, everyone was nervous, uh not me, I've done the runway hundreds of time...oh wait, I've RUN AWAY hundreds of times, guess that's not the same thing. It was so fun! All the nice ladies there were very cordial and Tanya, as usual sparkly and witty, introduced us with a short bio, then described our clothing personalizing it with comment such as "this whole outfit cost $44.00, enough to buy x number of socks or provide x number of sandwiches for the homeless ministry". Just a really great time, plus my dress rocked!
The weekend brought so-so weather on Saturday, but it didn't rain on the soccer game, bonus! Sunday was gorgeous, spent sprucing up the yard for D3's college grad party to be held in June. We made a huge dent in our outdoor clutter with a trip to Goodwill with gardening stuff we no longer need.
Monday DH had a second eye training session. Although I am not in the session, I can hear the therapist with him and she is so encouraging. He is easily discouraged by his seeming lack of ability to make his eyes work together. The therapist had this to say, and I really think this is a metaphor for life in general: "Even though it doesn't feel as if you are making progress, the fact that you are working on this is progress in itself. You may not see results right away, but your eyes are being trained nonetheless." I liked that. It could apply to so many things in our lives. Take dieting for instance, or going to the gym: It can take a LONG time to see results, but the fact you are doing SOMETHING is better than doing NOTHING,
I had a hilarious meltdown yesterday that I wanted to mention (full disclosure). You know how it is the little stuff that adds up that can drive you over the edge? Monday was that day.

1. The doctor's office sent us a check saying we overpaid on a bill we knew was due.Had to fix that.
2. Some joker calls from Lexus to say they did a bad job on cleaning up after our service call and told us to bring it back in to spiff it up. We do not own a Lexus. I just felt maybe I should call him back so he could call the right person who was probably steaming mad at that point that Lexus hadn't returned her call. (Did he NOT listen to the phone message id'ing us????)
3. The stupid wireless phone was not working.
4. Rushing to get stuff done before appt. just made my stomach knot up.

So looking at this list, it seems so MINOR, but at the time...well, it actually was the useless phone that broke the camel's back. I start losing it, yelling that "NOTHING WORKS IN THIS HOUSE! WHY CAN'T ANYTHING JUST WORK??????"
Sweet DH looks at me with his puppy dog look and his lower lip quivering and says "Did you mean me? the not working part?" I just laughed my head off. It was one of those awesomely hysterically funny moments that just makes your day.
Love you babe.
Oh yeah: If you are in town, here's a shout-out to Tanya's shop:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eINyOAu9JQ
The video has Tanya featured (in the hat) so you can see her and the shop. If you go there, tell her you saw it on my blog!
GHM Boutique
4711 SW Beaverton/Hillsdale Highway
Portland Oregon 97221

Play Date

On Tuesday, DH got to go on a play date with close friend /coworker. OK, it was a meeting, but still...it WASN'T a doctor's/therapy/clinic appointment. It was just a low-key, away from home, seeing old friends kinda day. I was excited for him to get out and do something familiar and get away from his smother, oops, I mean caring wife. And guess what? The house suddenly seemed like it had lost its center. It was so lonely! After being with hubby essentially 24/7 for the past few weeks, it felt like such a hole in my heart. When I have heard some women complaining about their Sig-O retiring and how hard it is to start a new routine, I was thinking would this change our dynamics? Would it be problematic? Add to that, this was a somewhat unexpected "forced" semi-retirement, and he is relying on me to drive, which has robbed him of his independence, would he be resentful? Well, so far he hasn't rearranged my cupboards, nor complained about my driving skills. In fact...he isn't complaining at all. He is also eating a whole new way, really. Forced "almost" vegan (I call it vegan-ist, even though he is still having a bit of dairy, it has been cut down at least 75% of what it was and his veggie intake has risen at least 75% and meat is down 90%..in fact he had only his second serving of meat in 3 weeks, tonight with 3 carefully measured ounces of chicken breast. (Can I say breast in this g-rated blog? Now I'm gonna get spam for porn, I'm sure of it) I am so proud of him! He was such a meat-a-tarian, remember, I am mostly a vegan-ist who eats eggs now and again, so even though meals have leaned towards that, he had been eating meat, sparingly the past few years true, but to really take it and run with it, essentially cold turkey (pardon the bad pun), well, that takes a lot of guts, er, stems. I am havingloads of fun trying to invent "meaty" dishes sans meat. He even casually mentioned he has lost some weight. (damn men, all they have to do is say "gee, think I will lose weight!" then they glance at their stop watches and say "there goes another 5 pounds!) Anyway, I digress. It has been a joy to have him here, he is so low-maintenance I feel guilty! He picks up his socks ,(I am so bragging!) is sweet and appreciative, and his hugs make me feel like I am the most precious thing on earth. Love you baby. Stick with me and we'll go places. OK, maybe I'm doing the driving...but you still run this family.

Scout's Honor, Part ll

Day 2 of the Eagle Project brought DH, myself, our son, and our daughter and then...no one...until around 10 AM, one lonely young scout came (I was told later that this was his very first service project). He admitted to me he was a little nervous working in a "graveyard" as it held some bad connotations for him. I can certainly relate. I remember as a young child when a family member died and we would go visit their grave site, we were admonished by the big kids "don't step on the grave! Don't step on the stone!" Not really sure that this was out of respect (we probably didn't think that cerebrally)  but more emotionally i.e. the goblins and zombies are gonna get ya if you walk on their graves. But in any case, it gave me an opportunity to talk to him about giving people a special place to visit loved ones, and how this project will show people that someone cared enough to make it beautiful. Shortly after, my son's girlfriend came as well. She had been there the day before and this tiny little thing was a whirlwind! she had worked many long hours the day before, but came back and she is amazing. A very meticulous young woman, and so dedicated. Then lo and behold, a mom and daughter who had been there the day before, came back unexpectedly. Even though they could only stay for a little while, it blessed me they came back. Her son, a 6th grader and a Boy Scout couldn't make it that day, but his young sis, a 2nd grader, well, let me just say, her cheerfulness was infectious and kept us going. A dear friend texted me at 10:35 and asked how it was going. At that time, it was still 1 kid and us. He asked me were we going to keep going? Well, I figure, we had to...we have no weekends left otherwise! We just kept plugging away. I can't say I didn't want to give up. I was personally exhausted beyond all measure. I didn't want DH to do work, ok, still terrified of him over-doing and causing another "incident" (my how my vernacular is changing: I hate the "S" word (stroke). So anyway, just working on the stones one-at-a-time. Then I looked up as we were nearing the entrance..I think it was about 1 or 2. It looked as if the Cavalry had arrived! There was my brother, his wife, their two kids. Another Scout and his dad, my friend and his wife (who had texted me earlier and "heard" my cry), another Scout and his grandpa, another Scout...well, I did almost cry at that moment! Oh my goodness! Well, for two plus hours we scoured, raked, weeded, etc and got so much accomplished. Once again, I am indeed humbled that so many came to help. Keep in mind, we were supposed to be done at 4pm and naturally, people had to start leaving for other obligations. We still weren't done, and we just felt we had to go on, thinking: just a little more. Even though I do not think that the ranger expected us to complete the entire cemetery site, it just felt wrong to leave it unfinished. So here we were, once again, four of us, scrubbing stones. Plus we had worked from the back up towards the front, and DH pointed out that the ranger would see these unfinished ones the first time he came in, so onward and forward, we kept going.At the 5 o'clock mark, a young man and his son walked into the cemetery. I asked if he was there to visit a loved one and he said yes. As he headed towards a direction directly behind me, I realized I had just cleaned all the headstones in that family's compound. It gave me a great sense of joy and satisfaction when he expressed how much it meant to him. It was evident that family visited this particular site often as there were flowers and mementos of every kind, so it was sweet to get that reward of seeing a family member's joy that someone cared. It was approximately 5:30 when we felt we had completed the task of every single cleaning of every single monument and headstone and marker in the entire cemetery. I told my son he should get some last pictures and a count before we loaded up. He thought he would "guesstimate" around a hundred for his write up of the project. So, the statistician in me decided to physically count each one. As I am counting, I saw one we had forgotten, off by its lonely self. Now it, too, was newer and quite lovely. It was a standing marble type, but had moss and bird droppings all over the front. What made it so poignant, was he was quite a young man, and it had his picture on it, probably the only picture I saw. He was quite handsome and obviously loved by his family as evidenced by flowers and figurines. Obviously, we couldn't leave it undone! So I raced to the car and got out the water, brushes and rags and gave it a good cleaning. At 5:38 PDT, we were officially done. Final count? 165 headstones, markers, and monuments, restored to their former beauty. Well, almost: some of these stones were from the 1800's, we did the best we could...although some that had been gray/green and unreadable were white after cleaning and we could make out the words. I was going to let you see a before and after, but I would have to figure out which befores were which afters. Many are unrecognizable. The befores are so different! Here's one that was completely buried and looked like a piece of sidewalk before; here it is after.
  

At first I thought the hands clasping were signifying friendship (as a number of stones had that) but on a closer look (and scrubbing) I realized that the hand on the left was a woman's, with a feminine cuff and the one on the right was a man's hand with cufflink on the sleeve. The inscriptions reads:
Louis Pelletan
died
May 2, 1987
aged
48 years
a native of France

 Dearest husband thou hast left me
and my loss I deeply feel
Tis the Lord that has bereft me
Of my husband I loved so well.

To the unknown wife, long gone and joining her beloved: he is remembered and cared for today on (almost) the 115th anniversary of his death.
This was more than just a service project, more than an Eagle project. This was a tender and loving gesture and a gift from this generation to ones long past. May you find eternal rest in this beautiful and sacred ground as our hearts join with your descendants to say : you are not forgotten. My humblest of thanks to all who participated. As my son writes his thank you notes, I want to add my own appreciation to all of you that helped. I know you sacrificed your time and energy of your very busy lives, and I just want to acknowledge how much we thank you.